Chapter 1 Fallen Woman
If you had not fallen
Then I would not have found you
Angel flying too close to the ground
- Willie Nelson, "Angel Flying Too Close To The Ground"
Age 30, Mom age 50
I braced myself before answering. Since I had learned that calls coming from Mom’s section of Texas usually meant heartache, I was grateful that the merciful new caller ID had shown me the unknown Houston number so I wasn’t completely ambushed. “Hello?’ I flinched in that suspended moment before the speaker’s response sprayed shrapnel through my thoughts.
He was calling collect from a pay phone to say he had found her unconscious at an abandoned gas station. “She was bleeding,” he said, “from her mouth and – and – you know, her bottom.” I squeezed my eyes shut but the truth remained. The pain hit. My temples beat objection, hardly containing reality. I thought I might fall. Yet I stood, held the phone to my ear, immobile, noiseless.
I could picture her there, lying on her side in the gravel. It was summer. She probably wore shorts, wasn’t covered as well as she would want to be, and was in the most vulnerable state. Maybe she wore an old t-shirt, her hair wild, dusty against the slab. Maybe the blood trickled and dried. Was it enough to pool? Had someone kicked her? Had she passed out before falling? Was she there for an hour before he found her? A day?
The Voice broke in again about calling an ambulance that took her to Hermann Hospital, and then remained anonymous despite my asking. I realized he would hang up without revealing himself. “Please!” How did he know who she was? The last time we talked, she told me didn’t have any I.D. Having no permanent home, she didn’t have a place to store such things. How did he know my number? How did he know he should call me? Click.
The blessing? At least he called and she was alive. For now. As I prepared to leave Austin and get to her, I was still distraught and full of questions. Knowing the facts didn’t help. How had my own mother come to this? Should I have done more to help her?
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